Forbidden Love
by love-ArronYan
Summary: 24 year old L Lawliet had never returned his eyes on love ever since he said good-bye to his childhood. But one day, all that changes, he finds himself unable to look away and becoming more and more over-protetive. Over a girl? LxOC
1. Chapter 1

[1]

_Chapter 1- Past, Present, Future_

"No!," I screamed, the boy looked at me as if I was crazy, "I forbid you to leave! You hear me!" His eyes, distant as he looked away. "I-"

"No!" I cut in. There's nothing he can say to change my mind. If he leaves, I hate him forever, let him choose his path.

_  
"I have to!." He protested. _

"_Why?! Can't you at least tell me why my best friend claims he can never see me again? Huh?! You become the most important person in my life, the only one I can depend on, and you turn your back on me? You think that's okay?! It might be to you, but what about me?! Don't I mean anything to you?!" Hurt claimed his eyes. And then it hit me. "I'm… I'm so sorry." I said, never, never in my whole life that I'd known him since I was 3 had I yelled at him. _

"_I can't," he said simply, "I can't tell you why I'm leaving-"  
_

"_Why not?! You told me everything!" I was mad again. He looked down as if to avoid my glance. There was a tap at the door. "Ryuuzaki, we have to go now or you'll miss your flight." I recognized him as Ryuuzaki's personal servant, or shall I say butler. I watched as Ryuuzaki got up without a word. The second he was out my door, it hit me._

'_I'll never see him again!' As my eyes began to water, I let the tears fall on their own as I dashed out the door and rounded the corner, only to trip and fall. He was just out the door when I screamed. "Ryuuzaki Lawliet!" He paused. I took my advantage and ran after him, grabbing him by the arm. "Don't go." I begged, "Please, don't leave me here alone. I don't wanna live without you."  
_

"_We'll meet again. I promise." He said, he held out his pinky as a sign of truce. I ignored it and hugged his warm body._

"I love you. Ryuuzaki Lawliet."

"_I love you too."  
_

"_A promise is a promise."_

_  
"Forever."_


	2. Chapter 2

[2]

"Are you ever gonna wake up?" Takuto complained. Takuto was my shinigami. Say what you want, shinigamis do exist. I wanted to raise a hand and smack him right there, but others can't see him. So if I did, they would call me crazy.

I was sitting on a plane on my way to Japan. Being a 'Kira' on the other side from where the action was happening is useless. Of course, it's not hard to find out my info. During my early times of obtaining my death note book, I had hacked into the F.B.I. and L's systems. It's not easy and took me years and years to do it. But now, I know basically everything that goes on. Not to mention, I've met the first Kira, Light Yagami, personally. Not face to face but over a web chat.

Months after we'd met each other, he called me using his school phone so that none of the convos would be overheard by his father or the bugs hooked to his phone. From then on, we've been in touch with one another, and recently he'd offered me a place to stay in Japan, closer to the head quarters of L's. Of course, it's hard trusting someone like him, but as far as I know, Light himself was nowhere near as intelligent as L.

If L's mind had been Light's, I wouldn't have known that the person I was talking to was actually Kira. But it wasn't surprising, I've worked with L before. It's a matter of time now that he would notice that I'm Kira. I've talked directly with L, not face to face, but as an employee of his, a puppet that he uses to get his info, a spy.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Takuto begged, "I mean, I can easily steal you a ticket back to U.S.A. today."

"Don't worry about it Takuto, its not as bad as it seems." I assured him.

"But how do you know that Light Yagami is not L." I continued to walk and made my way towards the pick-up area, Light and his family was meeting us there. 'Takuto, you know this shinigami don't you? Light's shinigami. How can you still doubt it? You know me well enough.' I thought, I know he could hear me, I couldn't speak aloud, there was too many people around.

"Seriously, I know you're smart and all, but don't you think that you should get yourself out of the curse before you're already in it?"

"Takuto, I've never considered finding the death note a curse. More like a luxury. You don't know how many people on this world would like to consider themselves Kira. I've never ever considered this a downside."

He sighed, "You never do."

'Now you notice' I chuckled.

Up ahead was none other than Light Yagami. How did I know? I told you I hacked the F.B.I. files didn't I? Well, it's easy, they had Light Yagami as the number one suspect, and his picture was there too. He greeted me with a hug as if we'd known each other for life. And yeah, It could probably pull off too.

"Mom, dad, Sayu, this is my girlfriend, Meyumi Ren." Oh right. I forgot to tell you, that was the plan. I'm Light's unforeseen "girlfriend" which he met back in elementary school. And there's one more part to it…

"I never had a chance to tell you, but I've asked Meyumi for her hand in marriage."


	3. Chapter 3

[3]

"You're what?!" all three of the family members exclaimed in unison. "We're getting married." He repeated. His father especially, became extremely shocked. "Who decided this?!" He yelled. I guess it's my turn to help him out. "Sir, I really do love Light a lot. It would mean a lot to us if you would allow us to be together."

"Light…" he mumbled. Light looked up at his father. "Yes?"

"Are you sure this is the path you want? You're only nineteen, don't you think you're doing this a bit too early?"

"Suichiro…" his wife urged. It was all up to the father now. Light spoke up, his acting planned so well I almost believed him, "I'm positive that there's no one on this world I want more than Meyumi." I looked over at him in disbelief. Man, that's one cheesey line, but yet… if he truly meant it… I would be the one falling heads over heals for him.

"I-If that's what you want." his father stuttered, even he was charmed by his son's words. "Thank you…very much." I told him.

And so, was it really decided? That I would marry one that I'd never loved, never truly got to know? Although I feel as if I'm trapping myself inside this dream, the reality is, and I don't mind that Light is actually using me. I don't care anymore that all this was a play, maybe, just maybe, I could let go and convince myself for the slightest amount of time…that Light Yagami was in love with me and that I was really loving him and getting married to him.


	4. Chapter 4

[4]

Everyday from then on passed on quick. Before I was able to pull myself together, I had already registered for the same University as Light and the whole world knew. Or at least they thought they knew, that me and Light were getting married. It wasn't hard to put on the act that I never really liked him, but yet it was harder not to laugh at their stupidity in thinking we were together. It isn't hard to act to be something you're not, especially when it's acting that you like someone. That is because, knowing how to envy someone is the same as acting like hating that person. Therefore, if you know how to envy, you would know how to love. Without knowing how to hate, there is no way to know what love really is. Envying a person is the same as acting like you hate them, but the truth is at the same time, you learn to love someone.

I learned that. I, years ago, learned that the painful way.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_  
"Ryuuzaki Lawliet!" He paused. I took my advantage and ran after him, grabbing him by the arm. "Don't go." I begged, "Please, don't leave me here alone. I don't wanna live without you."  
_

_"We'll meet again. I promise." He said, he held out his pinky as a sign of truce. I ignored it and hugged his warm body._

"I love you. Ryuuzaki Lawliet."  


_"I love you too."  
_

_"A promise is a promise."_

_  
"Forever."_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_  
"Forever... Ryuuzaki....Lawliet..." I mumbled._

_  
"Ms. Meyumi?" L spoke. I snapped out of my daze at the call of my name and looked at the figure on the chair. "Your opinion on the case?" I looked around for a bit noticing that everyone in the headquarters were staring at me for an answer. I looked at Light with a slight "help me" look. He cleared his throat, "Your opinion on the second kira." he hinted quietly. I heard a few chuckles in the room before I returned my gaze back to Lawliet- I mean... L. It's hard, I've never had any private time to ask Law- L if he was really the one from my past. No I mean... confront him about it, he was obviously the one from my past, I could see it in his eyes. _

_  
"Meyumi." Light coughed hinting me again. I once again snapped out of my daze which I've been having a lot lately and returned to answer L's question. "The second kira... I agree that there is possibly a second kira." More murmurs filled the room from the small amount of staff. I could feel Light's eyes on me intently as to ask what I was thinking telling him this info. "The first kira...isn't as shallow as the new one to post such advertisements on public live television. Obviously the first kira had planned to go against L privately by him or herself, therefore, I also know that the first kira wasn't the one that found the second, but the other way around._

_  
" The second kira is obviously not as intelligent as kira themself, he or she had put themself wide open for the first kira to see and obviously they've had some kinda of connection. If you compare the recordings from the first broadcast to the last one, the most recent one has words that are more... shall I say.... less revealing, obvious to the public that they have connections. You can tell that the first kira had asked the second kira to keep a lower profile and I'm thinking we should be working fast because very soon, first kira is going to request that second kira would stop the broadcasting all together."_

_  
Everybody stared at me as if I had grown another head, Light gave an amused and quite praising smile, one that wasn't face because of the look in his eyes. The silence started to freak me out. "... I mean... that's only my point of view... if you have thoughts otherwi-" Everybody suddenly became busy and L started ordering people around. "Yagami, Mogi, Light-kun, please contact the phoning comapanies to tell us the recent calls from yesturday to this evening between households with connections to Sakura TV. Matsuda, go call Watari back immediately and tell him the information. Ms. Ren please come with me." Everybody broke up to their work. While passing by, Light came by me and pulled me into a hug, "I'll see you later alright? You want to go out for dinner?" Obviously it was something that was meant for L to hear. _

_  
"Of course." I answered sweetly._

_  
"I love you," he told me, I could feel all the eyes in the room on me. I nodded and returned the hug with Light. "I love you too." I mumbled, blushing at the right time. He chuckled and rubbed his thumb over the warm part of my cheek. "Hah, get used to that, you're gonna be mine for eternity remember." I stuck my tongue out at him, "nah, now that I think about it I rather be together with Ryuuzaki-kun." His act entertained me. He made a disbelieving and an incredibly realistic heart broken face. I chuckled when I saw L blush. "Aww c'mon! I was joking! Besides I'm all yours remember?" I added. His face lit up again. "Hm, I guess I have to be more careful in case L steals my heart." I added with a thoughtful expression. _

_  
"Get a room!" I heard someone yell, I'm thinking it was Matsuda. I laughed at his comment. "Well, I'll see you later." I told him before taking it to the next level and pecking Light on the lips. "Yum." I heard him murmur. I giggled slightly before he suddenly pulled in and kissed me hard and full on the lips. I smirked into the kiss. Man this playboy! Breaking through, I heard L clearing his throat as a hint to get a go on. I broke the kiss and ducked out of Light's arms. "See ya." I giggled at his shocked expression. With that, I followed L into a room down the hall._


	5. Chapter 5

[5]

"In here please." Ryuuzaki said opening the door wide opened for me. I recognized the room from the tour of the building. The sign on the door showed the words "Authorized Staff Only." I took a step closer to the doorway and grabbed L's hand before leading him in. The lights automatically turned on when the door closed. Inside were shelves full of files. In the far corner of the long long room, there, marked on the door said "Strictly prohibited,..." Kira....

"You're probably wondering why I asked you here." he told me. I nodded slowly. Actually, all I really wanted to do was talk to him alone but now that he mentions it. He lead the way towards the "Kira" room. I followed him without a word. The second the door closed, he had me in an embrace. "Why?" he said, "Why didn't you wait for me? Why did you have to decide to marry him?" I could feel his tears falling on my shoulder. "I love you." I told him. Never, never in years had I told anyone that truthfully, because never in years had I fallen in love with anyone but my Lawliet. "Don't lie," he mumbled into my shoulder. I hugged him closer to my body though the height difference was big, I didn't wanna let him go. "I'm not lying," I said. I was about to tell him the truth about everything that was happening at the moment.

With me being kira, my fake act of marrying Light, everything that could lead me to death. It hurt so much to not let everything go and to tell him the truth. "Is... is it safe in here-"

"To call me by my name?" I nodded. He smiled and placed a warm pair of lips on my forehead. "This one room is camera and bugged free. And only in here can you call me by my name alright?" he warned. I nodded, "I love you Lawliet." I told him again. He shook his head, "I thought the people at the orphanage taught you not to lie-"

"Who said I am?" I said cutting in. He chuckled and pulled me away as if to get a better look at me. "You haven't changed a bit." he said. I narrowed my eyes at him and raised my hand to flick him on the forehead. "Are you blind? Have you _ever _seen me with _eyeliner_ on my face? And the hair? Was it ever mid brown? It was always that ugly colour muddy brown."

"Never call yourself ugly." he scolded. He took his thumb and carefully rubbed the spot on top of my eye where the make-up was. "Never put this gunk on your face again, it deserves capital punishment to ruin such a beautiful face." I sighed at him. It couldn't have been that bad. "And I meant your personality dufus. You always cry over the littlest things don't you?" His thumb trapped a tear that had managed to escape from my eye.

"Or you're just making me cry by doing some type of magic." I grumbled under my breathe. He moaned at my horrible joke. "Maybe, or ...-" He was cut off when the cell phone in his pocket rang. "HOW DARE YOU CARRY A CELL PHONE ON YOU WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ALONE WITH ME!" I scolded him. He gave me an apologetic look and took his call. He kept his free arm around me and allowed me to listen to parts of the short conversation. Not like I even listened, I was too preoccupied with the pulse of his heart. "I'll be there." he said before he closed the phone. I gave him an accusing look because I knew what was happening, our alone time was over. "Emergency, we'll talk some other time alright?"

Like he even needed my permission, he probably had no other time planned to talk to me again. I frowned, pouted and turned away from him stubbornly. He moaned at my stubborness and turned me back to face him. He placed his lips once again gently on my forehead, "soon." he promised. I sighed and opened the door to leave.


	6. Chapter 6

[5]

"In here please." Ryuuzaki said opening the door wide opened for me. I recognized the room from the tour of the building. The sign on the door showed the words "Authorized Staff Only." I took a step closer to the doorway and grabbed L's hand before leading him in. The lights automatically turned on when the door closed. Inside were shelves full of files. In the far corner of the long long room, there, marked on the door said "Strictly prohibited,..." Kira....

"You're probably wondering why I asked you here." he told me. I nodded slowly. Actually, all I really wanted to do was talk to him alone but now that he mentions it. He lead the way towards the "Kira" room. I followed him without a word. The second the door closed, he had me in an embrace. "Why?" he said, "Why didn't you wait for me? Why did you have to decide to marry him?" I could feel his tears falling on my shoulder. "I love you." I told him. Never, never in years had I told anyone that truthfully, because never in years had I fallen in love with anyone but my Lawliet. "Don't lie," he mumbled into my shoulder. I hugged him closer to my body though the height difference was big, I didn't wanna let him go. "I'm not lying," I said. I was about to tell him the truth about everything that was happening at the moment.

With me being kira, my fake act of marrying Light, everything that could lead me to death. It hurt so much to not let everything go and to tell him the truth. "Is... is it safe in here-"

"To call me by my name?" I nodded. He smiled and placed a warm pair of lips on my forehead. "This one room is camera and bugged free. And only in here can you call me by my name alright?" he warned. I nodded, "I love you Lawliet." I told him again. He shook his head, "I thought the people at the orphanage taught you not to lie-"

"Who said I am?" I said cutting in. He chuckled and pulled me away as if to get a better look at me. "You haven't changed a bit." he said. I narrowed my eyes at him and raised my hand to flick him on the forehead. "Are you blind? Have you _ever _seen me with _eyeliner_ on my face? And the hair? Was it ever mid brown? It was always that ugly colour muddy brown."

"Never call yourself ugly." he scolded. He took his thumb and carefully rubbed the spot on top of my eye where the make-up was. "Never put this gunk on your face again, it deserves capital punishment to ruin such a beautiful face." I sighed at him. It couldn't have been that bad. "And I meant your personality dufus. You always cry over the littlest things don't you?" His thumb trapped a tear that had managed to escape from my eye.

"Or you're just making me cry by doing some type of magic." I grumbled under my breathe. He moaned at my horrible joke. "Maybe, or ...-" He was cut off when the cell phone in his pocket rang. "HOW DARE YOU CARRY A CELL PHONE ON YOU WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ALONE WITH ME!" I scolded him. He gave me an apologetic look and took his call. He kept his free arm around me and allowed me to listen to parts of the short conversation. Not like I even listened, I was too preoccupied with the pulse of his heart. "I'll be there." he said before he closed the phone. I gave him an accusing look because I knew what was happening, our alone time was over. "Emergency, we'll talk some other time alright?"

Like he even needed my permission, he probably had no other time planned to talk to me again. I frowned, pouted and turned away from him stubbornly. He moaned at my stubborness and turned me back to face him. He placed his lips once again gently on my forehead, "soon." he promised. I sighed and opened the door to leave.


	7. Chapter 7

[7]

As we drove through the night towards the office building, I barely felt Light's eyes on me as I daydreamed about what would happen if me and L had a talk today. Finally, when I gave up on the possibilities of him even having time at all, I turned to Light. "What are you staring at?" I asked curiously, surprised that it came out in an angry tone. As I was debating whether to apologize or not, he glared at me, obviously offended and raised a hand as if to slap me. "You wouldn't." I mumbled as I watched his unsure eyes. His eyes scanned my face, I wondered if I had composed myself enough that I wasn't showing any signs of fear. Truth is, I can't imagine him like that. Can't imagine at all that he of all people would hurt me. His raised hand shook as I watched him carefully. His hand dropped slightly. I took it in my hand and gently pushed it down. Half way down to the seat, he snapped back into reality and hugged me tightly against him.

"Stop thinking about him." he whispered, "You're mine remember?" My eyes grew wider in shock. I wanted to pull away but part of me wanted to stay with him.

I hadn't realized time had stopped until there was a clearing of the throat behind us. The driver had the door opened and behind him was L, staring in on us. I blushed and pulled away to climb out of the car. "Nice to see you so energetic this late at night Ms. Meyumi.... " L speculated making me blush more, "I pressume that today's class went well?" I stuck my tongue out at him like a 5 year old and made my way to the building. I could hear Light moan when he realized he was carrying my books again and chuckled at that.

Just as I was turning the last corner before the main room, a hand took mine and pulled me in the the opposite direction.


	8. Chapter 8

[7]

As we drove through the night towards the office building, I barely felt Light's eyes on me as I daydreamed about what would happen if me and L had a talk today. Finally, when I gave up on the possibilities of him even having time at all, I turned to Light. "What are you staring at?" I asked curiously, surprised that it came out in an angry tone. As I was debating whether to apologize or not, he glared at me, obviously offended and raised a hand as if to slap me. "You wouldn't." I mumbled as I watched his unsure eyes. His eyes scanned my face, I wondered if I had composed myself enough that I wasn't showing any signs of fear. Truth is, I can't imagine him like that. Can't imagine at all that he of all people would hurt me. His raised hand shook as I watched him carefully. His hand dropped slightly. I took it in my hand and gently pushed it down. Half way down to the seat, he snapped back into reality and hugged me tightly against him.

"Stop thinking about him." he whispered, "You're mine remember?" My eyes grew wider in shock. I wanted to pull away but part of me wanted to stay with him.

I hadn't realized time had stopped until there was a clearing of the throat behind us. The driver had the door opened and behind him was L, staring in on us. I blushed and pulled away to climb out of the car. "Nice to see you so energetic this late at night Ms. Meyumi.... " L speculated making me blush more, "I pressume that today's class went well?" I stuck my tongue out at him like a 5 year old and made my way to the building. I could hear Light moan when he realized he was carrying my books again and chuckled at that.

Just as I was turning the last corner before the main room, a hand took mine and pulled me in the the opposite direction.


	9. Chapter 9

[8]

Just as I was turning the last corner before the main room, a hand took mine and pulled me in the the opposite direction.

I turned around to find a pair of cold, distant, yet insistant eyes connecting to mine. "Do you have some time?"  
We went over to the same room as the last time we talked. That very room that he told me he loved me. The very room that I almost told him the truth. But I can't, no, not now anyways. "Is there something you wanted to say?" I said after long moments of silence. "No... nothing specific." Truly, out of the many times I've dreamed of some alone time with him, never was there one without talking. "Then I guess I'll see you later."

"You had nothing to say?" he asked just as my hand touched the door knob. "No." Without warning, a pair of warm arms embraced me. "Don't marry him. I know how much he means to you. But give me sometime."

"I... L... I love him. I'm sorry" With that, I escaped from his hug and made my way back to the main room. Tears overwhelmed my eyes as I cianlly realized how much it hurt, Wanting him, I was finally able to freely be with the one I loved, but it's over now. Desperately, I wanted to be with him. Hug him, tell him how much I needed him. It was a desperate feeling as my heart raced frantically for his warmth to be with me.

My heart stopped urging in pain, instead , it was filled with a sense of safety and realization that I no longer greive desperately for those warm capable arms of his, but that he was with me now. "I love you. Please just give me one chance." Impossible, it felt like those words were none but a mere dream but my pounding heart reminded me of the truth. The truth behind my finace's over whelming jealousy and hatred of L.

"Get away from her."

"Within an instant, the warm embrace disappeared, replaced with Light's possessive arms. "Don't ever touch my fiancee again. I won't let anyone get away with it. Especially you. "


	10. Chapter 10

[9]

"Within an instant, the warm embrace disappeared, replaced with Light's possessive arms. "Don't ever touch my fiancee again. I won't let anyone get away with it. Especially you. "

"Light isn't this a little overboa-" L cut me off.

"Don't you think you should listen to your girlfriend before telling her what should be done?" he said, eyeing me. I looked oved between the two of them again and again. They both looked at me expextantly. Really, I don't know what to say, I mean both of them knew peices of things that the other didn't need to know. For Light, he doesn't need to know that I love L, not him. That L was always in my heart and will forever be. As of L, wel, he obviously doesn't know some stuff that has nothing to do with anything good.

"Lighto... let's go, I'll talk to you later Ryuuzaki. " I said, looking hopefully at L before walking to the other direction. I was hoping from the bottom of my heart that maybe things weren't so complicated between me and him but I hope soon, I'd be able to talk to him again.

"I've had enough!" Never had I seen L be so recklessly angry before. Not just angry, but when did he ever reveal his feelings like such? L is a childish guy, one that always got what he wanted. Being that way, he never tells anyone why he wants something but merely gets it the way he wants. Showing such feeling, I know what I mean to L now. Knowing that, I know waht I must do. I can't allow him to love me any longer.


	11. Chapter 11

[11]

"Ryuuzaki, just stop." I knew I didn't have the ability to hurt him any longer. "Ryuuzaki... those promises... I guess that's just what you call forbidden love."

==============

As I listened to Light stressed over some wedding details on the phone, I laid on his bed, day dreaming about the past, a few years ago.

_....  
"I love you Ryuuzaki Lawliet."_

"I love you too."

"A promise is a promise huh?" I mumbled to myself, flipping my cell phone open and close unintentionally as I thought of the past in which I loved.

_"Why are you sad?" I looked up from the flower that I had picked and saw Lawliet standing beside me. "Nothing." Tears started whelming in my eyes as I thought about what I was here for. The reason as to why I was crying now. When Lawliet sat down beside me, I slid a couple of inches away, the max the wooden bench would allow. I felt his hurt expression as he watched me retreat. "Did I do something?" I didn't reply. "I did, didn't I?" I shook my head. "Meyumi, why are you sad?"_

"Because..." He stared at me, confused as I refused to tell him. "Because what?" he urged.

"Because... I'm never gonna get married." I declared. He stared at me bewildered, his eyes filled wih confusion. "Why?"

"Because.. Lawliet-kun will never marry me." I looked at him straight in his eyes. Was there a use in hiding it now? But when my tears started streaming, I turned away. I heard a thud beside me and turned around to see what happened. Lawliet was on the floor clutching his stomach in endless laughter.

"This isn't funny!" I protested, my cheesk flsuhed red. He stopped laughing and propped onto one knee. I glared at him in frustration, "I said I wasn't joking!"

"I never said I was joking either." he added. I stared at him in awe.

"Meyumi Ren, I promise I will love you you marry me?"

"Yes." He took my hand in his. "A promise is a promise."

"Forever."


	12. Chapter 12

[12]

_"Meyumi, I promise to love you forever. Will you marry me?"_

"Yes" L took my hand in his.

"A Promise is a promise."

"Forever"

===================  
I sat on the stoll in the jewelry store, overlooking the case of wedding rings in front of me. We've been looking through many rings, many stores even but none really interested me. I didn't want a ring, however Light decided he wanted to do things the traditional way.

"Is there even a traditional way between the two of us?" I asked him that morning. He laughed and dragged me to the car. And now I'm here, hours and hours since we've visitted the first were on the fourth now.

I twirled the ring around my third finger of my left hand. It felt heavy there. Nausea always caught me whenever I tried one on. It isn't fair, I'm not even marrying someone that loves me.

"Meyumi? Oi! Meyumi." Light called. I looked over at him and snapped back into reality when he nodded at the ring. "Do you like it?"

"Um... yeah, this one is nice." I said, still dazed at the thoughts going through my mind.

"It's a once in a life time chance. Are you sure you want this one?" The jeweler asked. I liked the ring, definately. This one was definately my favourite, simple yet beautiful. The design was quite old fashioned. A silver band with a few mini diamonds off to the sides. The biggest diamond, held delicately by a clasping platform in the middle. But...I wasn't even sure about my life anymore.

"Light...I like this one. Really I want this one. But, can we come back in a few days. I'm not... feeling too well." I admitted. It was the truth. I didn't feel well. I felt nauscious.

He looked at me with real concern before turning back to the jeweler. I took the ring off and stood up, almost falling back down. He caught me in his arms before turning to the employee. Poor girl, she wouldn't be getting any service payments today.

"Thank-you for your time. I could tell she liked that one a lot. We'll be back in a few days or so." he said before shaking her hand and walking out, supporting me the whole way. He didn't let me go until I sat down inside the car. I closed the door beside me as he made his way to the driver's side.

"You don't look so well. Should I take you home or did you still wanna go to headquarters?" he asked as he started the engine. He placed his free hand on my forehead for a second to check my temperature and then took my hand in his.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I guess it was obvious from my lack of expression that I wasn't gonna answer. But I had a request.

"I needa talk to L."


	13. Chapter 13

[13]

"I wanna talk to L."

===================  
"Ryuuzaki." Light called from the door way of the main work room. L looked up from mid-conversation. He first looked at Light and then at me and at that moment, I was half hidden behind Light.

"Is something the matter?" he asked. Though his question was directed at Light, his gaze remained on me. Scared as I was to confront him, I didn't want to let go of Light's hand. Selfish, I knew, but for some reason, I needed Light's warmth with me.

"We'd like to talk to you in the mhall for a moment." Light said. His father looked wearily at the two of us for a second before L excused himself from his work station. We turned the corner of the hall where it was empty. However, the area was still rigged with security cameras which made me wonder if my soon-to-be-father-in-law was watching in the main room.

All of us stood in silence for a while and when I finally realized that Light wanted me to speak, I nudged him. "You say it" I whispered, still half hidden behind him. He looked at L. L looked at me, I looked at Light.

"Ryuuzaki," he began. L still remained facing me, his face curious. It was obvious that Light wasn't going to get Ryuuzaki's eye contact so he continued anyways.

"Meyumi and I have discussed it in the car on our way here. And we'd like you to be our 'best man' for the wedding. We've decided the date being on August 10th, two months from now on Meyumi's birthday"

L's ears perked up. His eyes grew as wide as coat buttons for a second before returning back to normal. Both of us knew why. Not because of the 'best man' request, but the date. Two things about it shocked him.

1. It was exactly two months away, as Light had said. A time too soon for both him and me.

2. August 10th. Yes it was my birthday, but it was the same day I'd met Lawliet 5 years ago and the same day where 2 years after our encounter, he'd proposed to me.

I felt the memories rush back through his eyes as he took it in briefly. L had barely spared a peek at Light before looking at me in curiousity and accusion. "August...10th?" he mumbled. I swore after our fight the other day , that I would never hurt him again. And look what I was doing now!

_I'm sorry._I wanted to tell him. I wanted to cry to let the tears roam free. L meant the world to me, how could I do this to him?!I blamed myself for everything I deserved. For every scar I'd left on him.

I let go of Light's hand and took off. I don't know where I ended up, as the tears blurred my vision, but somehow, I'd landed on something soft, and start bawling my eyes out. Somewhere along the way, everything had turned black. I knew then, that I had fallen asleep into a dreamless reality. One that I could no longer hurt anyone with.


	14. Chapter 14

[14]

I let go of Light's hand and took off. I don't know where I ended up but somehow, I had landed on something soft, whilst bawling eyes out. Somewhere along the way, everything turned black, I knew then that I had fallen into a dreamless sleep. One that I could no longer hurt anyone in.

Soon, I noticed my assumption had been wrong. Yes, it was true that my dream consisted of nothing but darkness. But then it hit me. No, I wasn't the one surrounded by darkness, the darkness was in me. I felt a presence creep upon me but saw nothing. I felt nothing I heard nothing. It was as if my body was nothing but air. No, not even air. At least air had a substance to it. I tried to turn around, but I couldn't feel the energy within me, even if I did turn, there would've been nothing but darkness.

Hours passed, or what seemed like hours. This area of my... mind?, was an area where time didn't exist. It was eerie, I couldn't hear my own breathing. I couldn't feel my heart beat, which made me think: maybe I was dead. If I cou;d, I would've smiled at that thought. At least one of my assumtions was currect, I could no longer hurt anybody.

Suddenly, as if to prove my theory wrong, a bright white light came and shone in front of me, followed by a farmiliar voice.

"L! L! No! Somebody save him!"

Once again , the world plunged into darkness. _What was happening there._ I thought to myself desperately. I needed to know. I wanted to scream but I couldn't find my voice.

I heard a low chuckle behind me. "So, how do you like the show so far?" Right on cue, two spotlights turned on. Neither one was on me.

_L!_ I screamed. My voice didn't come. _No! This can't be happening!_

The voice answered me with the same chuckle. "Oh yes it is my dear, you're the one that put him in the death trap." Takuto's voice boomed behind me.

_Takuto! What the hell are you talking about! You're a shinigami! My shinigami! Get him out of there! NOW! _I screamed to him. I watched in horror as the numbers on top of L's head decreased, each number disappearing faster than the last. I had barely noticed, but underneath the second spotlight was...me. I watched incredulously as I stood there with a smirk, a twin? Double-ganger?

As each second passed, the smirk on her lips grew wider and wider as she couted down the time vs. the numbers over his head. That's weird because I remember declining the offer for shinigami eyes.

_Takuto! Stop it! Stop her! Stop me! Don't let him die! I'm begging! _I shouted. I knew he could hear me.

"Lawliet!" I almost screamed. Almost, but still restricted.

The count, like a time bomb was down to its 500s now. The speed didn't slow, but increased. At 200, L fell to the floor, clutching his chest. The smirk on "my" face grew into a smile. A content, easy going, stress free smile. When I finally felt my nerves and senses come back, I only had time for one tear to slip out before everything disappeared and I was once again in darkness.

"It's over"


	15. Chapter 15

[15]

_The count, like a time bomb was down to its 500s now. The speed didn't slow, but increased. At 200, L fell to the floor, clutching his chest. The smirk on "my" face grew into a smile. A content, easy going, stress free smile. When I finally felt my nerves and senses come back, I only had time for one tear to slip out before everything disappeared and I was once again in darkness._

_  
"It's over"_

"Meyumi?" a voice called. "Meyumi! What's wrong? Wake up!" Slowly, I followed thevoice's instruction and opened my eyes. My vision was blurred. I continuously tried to blink away the blurriness but it continued. I then realizedI was crying.

"What's wrong? Why're youcrying?" It wasn't who I'd expected it to be.

"Misa?! What? Who? Where? I-" I was speechless as I took in the surroundings. I swore I wasat least int he HQ building when I collapsed.

"Misa brought you home with me. Lighto and Ryuuzaki-kun are outside on the computer. They don't seem to get along but Misa made them shut up." she replied, grinning. Suddenly a loud crash from outside the room was heard.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" a threatening voice said. I realized it was Light.

"Checking on Meyumi-chan" he replied casually.

"No, you aren't." Light replied. They started arguing. I looked over at Misa in concern.

She giggled, "they've been going on and on for hours."

"Hours?" I exclaimed in shock. The two outside were bickering so loud they never heard me. "How long was I out for?"

She giggled again. "12 hours more or less. I'm jealous, you're a pretty heavy sleeper even with all the commotion." I looked over at the clock, she was right. It's 5 in the morning.

"Misa, why're you up at this time?' I asked, trying to drown out all the arguement outside. They continued on and on. THough really, neither of them were the "scream-your-heads-off" type which made me wonder what had gotten into them.

"You were shouting for Ryuuzaki for a while before you woke up. I was sleeping in the other room. SoI told the guys to shut it cuz they were giving you a nightmare. It worked so I came in to check on you."

Suddenly as if on cue, Light and L burstinto the room, but with little specks of sweat on their face. Have they been wrestling? "Meyumi are you okay?!" they both asked at the same time.

The moment was SO awkward. All four of us stared at each other without a word. Eventually I couldn't hold it in. I yawned. "Ohmigosh I can't believe I'm still tired. How many hours did you say Misa? 12?"

She giggled. "Wow. Yeah 12 hours. You are definately amazing madame."

"Misa, let's go shopping today." I suggested. I needed some time from all this drama. Her eyes beamed. "Yes! Let's!"

Light and L stared at us with identical incredulous looks. "It's 5 in the morning" Light said.

I shrugged. "Let's go Misa" With that, we left. Hopefully the two guys won't bite each other's head off in a few hours.


	16. Chapter 16

[16]

"Wadda you think Meyumi-chan?" Misa asked, holding up two dresses, "this one or this one?" The first was a black one, strapless and layered to a bit above the knees, that one was meant to show off the hips and butt. The second one was cute, less standy-outie, a purple one, it was simple in a halter way but it was designed with a little poof at the bottom. Both were gorgeous and would've held to her body generously, afterall, she was a model.

"They're both cute." I suggested, hopefully my voice was convincing enough to prove that I wasn't busy thinking about something else.

"What's wrong?" she asked, skipping to sit beside me. Her hair pulled into a pony tail, she wore short shorts and a plain graphic tee, her tote bag added in, barely kept her fans from noticing.

I sighed, "nothing...just...thinking."

"About Light?" she asked. My expression must've been obvious because she giggled. "Don't worry about it, guys are guys. They act that way once in a while. Ryuuzaki-kun cares and Light is jealous!He'll get over it."

I sighed again. _That's barely the problem_. I thought to myself. Truth is, I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around the term "engaged." I'm pretty sure it'll be harder thinking "married." Not only that, I'll only be "engaged" for a month's time. In one month I'll be committed to a whole new relationship forever.

I hadn't noticed that Misa had left, but she then came back with the two dresses bought and a bag in her hand. "Here, you can have these, I know you really liked the purple one. The black one would look nice on you too." She handed the bag over to me. I smiled. Misa could be such a great friend if you knew her correctly.

We walked off, stopping at a local coffee shop to by a muffin and a decaf for breakfast. She sure knew her sources, I mean who else would be able to find a mall in the Tokyo timesquare that would be opened at this time. We didn't stop there. We shopped for another 6 hours, bought more stuff and called in her limo to drop it off and drive to lunch.

We then turned off the freeway only to end up in another mall and began our time there. We had our final break for ice cream at around 3. We had some time to talk then.

"Meyumi.... what do you think of Ryuuzaki-kun?" she asked, spinning her icecream cone in her hand. She then proceeded to bite a chunk off and let it melt in her mouth.

"Ryuuzaki...he's a nice guy. He's definately quiet but he's really caring." I said, staring at my ice cream.

"Do you like Ryuuzaki-kun?" she asked. I immediately avoided the subject.

"Of course, he's a great guy."

Before I could continue, she cut me off. "No, I mean do you, y'know...._like_ like him." She pressed. I remembered when I was younger and I used to use the term "like like" instead of "like" while referring to crushes. Those times just never change.

"Ryuuzaki... and I... were never physically nor emotional capable of being able to livea life together..." She stared at me, confused by my choice of words.

_As Kira and L would never be one. Neither are we._

"Ryuuzaki-kun... seems very protective of you. If I weren't mistaken, even more so than Light-kun." She said. I grimaced at her observation. Misa always had a mind of a child, a child that could only see truth but not lies. Can she tell of my obvious preferences of L?

"Yeah, I've never seen him act like that. Even Light barely does that too. I wonder what's gotten into them." I sighed. I looked up to see that Misa hadn't eaten from her ice cream for a bit. Finally, it hit me, her reason for the sudden interrogation.

"Misa...do _you_ have a crush on Ryuuzaki-kun?"


	17. Chapter 17

[17]

"Misa, do _you _like Ryuuzaki-kun?"

She stiffened. I watched as her completely frozen face slowly returned to her cheerful mask.

"Me? Ryuuzaki? Now way!" She exclaimed. Almost too loud. We both looked around to see if anyone was staring at us. Not many were but the ones that were seemed to have been re-occupied the second we looked over.

"Then why are you acting weird?" I pressed. If my speculation was right, Misa had liked Lawliet all along. Which kinda made me envious. And slightly ego-fied. Out of the two of us, Lawliet chose me. Me over the model.

"I'm not acting weird! " She insisted. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Not weird?" I questioned.

She sighed in defeat. I grinned. But somewhere inside me, it hurt. I knew Ryuuzaki wasn't the type to chase after pretty girls, but Misa is different. Besides the fact that she's gorgeous (compared to the majority of females, she probably makes them cry.) She's a close friend of his. Not as close as me and him, but she's probably the only other female other than me that he's been in contact with. That made me slightly overprotective. What if she made a move for him?

I tried not to think about it but it bothered me a bit.

"Fine, recently, I've felt slightly...attracted to Ryuuzaki-kun-" I cut her off.

"So, when do I expect to be 's Bride's Maid?" I asked cheerfully. I think I slightly twichted when I said that. As painful as it was to admit it, it was true, afterall, through all this time, I've loved Lawliet.

"Nice one Meyumi-chan. I wish. But... it's only a small crush. After all, Ryuuzaki only has eyes for you." She said nervously. I could practically here the regret and depression in her voice.

"Ryuuzaki and I are just friends Misa. You knew him longer right? He's closer to you. Besides, he's a single man. I'm gonna be married soon." Yup, I definately twitched when I said all of that. Does that mean I twitched several times? Yeah probably. I just hope she didn't see.

It was weird because after I said that, I'd realized that I've been decieving myself of the truth the whole time. I finally told myself what was happening in reality. That me and Ryuuzaki were just friends, nothing more. That he's single, I had no right to have a freakish over protection over him. And last but not least. My love is dedicated for Light now, no one else.

"But Meyumi-chan, you... I know it seems freaky, but I don't see the connection between you and Light-kun. His over-protection over you isn't like Ryuuzaki-kun's. Ryuuzaki ....loves you. Light-kun...it seems like I'm missing something in the way he looks at you." Once again, Misa's observations were painfully correct. She's like a child, one that only sees the truth. Pure innocence. Something that I used to be.

"Misa, you're thinking too much. I told you, me and Ryuuzaki are just friends. We were never met to be anything more." I hope she bought that.

"Yes but.. you're saying that as if you regret it. You have feelings for Ryuuzaki too don't you Meyumi-chan?" She said.

Before I could lie my way out of that, my phone rang.

*A smile no matter how sweet, how beautiful,

If it's not yours it's not special.

No matter how salty my tears are,

If I have you there, it becomes a sunny day.

No matter how close we are,

Without a hug, We're far apart.

I only have feelings for you in the whole world.*

The song was "Only Have Feelings You" by a taiwanese band called "Fahrenheit." It was the ringer for Ryuuzaki's number. It was weird because he usually uses Watari's cell phone to call, never the office. Something urgent?

"Who is it?" Misa asked.

"Ryuuzaki." I mumled as I clicked "Talk."

"What's wrong Ryuuzaki?" I asked, putting the phone to my ear.

"Meyumi, you better get back, that is if you want the building standing by the time you finish shopping." It was Yagami-kun, Light's father.

"What happened?" I asked hesitantly. Nothing could be that important.

"Ryuuzaki and Light are tearing the place down."

"I'll be right there."


	18. Chapter 18

[18]

Me and Misa sat in silence on our way back. It was awkward, but the trip would take at least 20 minutes back.

"That ringtone of yours....I've heard that song before." she mumbled. I flinched, hoping she wouldn't be able to put the two together. But Misa was always smarter than I'd expected.

"A smile, no matter how sweet, how beautiful, If it's not yours it's not special..." she recited. I knew then, that she understood the chorus word for word. I'd under-estimated her before. Of course, her being an idol, she spoke fluently. Taiwanese/ Mandarin was a popular language, not only in Japan but all around the world. I remained speechless as she recited the whole verse. "Without a hug, we're far apart...I only have feelings for you...."

Her child-like eyes looked up at me. "You knew without checking that that was Ryuuzaki's number....those lyrics, they resemble what you feel towards him, am I correct?"

Truth be said, I wasn't used to this. Used to being read so easily, having every thought in my mind, all the secrets I've held, being deciphered word by word.

I found no more reason in arguing with her. So I said what was unable to be said this whole time. "Misa...Ryuuzaki...I love him. I always had. But...I can't be with him, regardless that the feelings are mutual. Because.. me and Light aren't meant to be seperated."

"Meyumi-chan. I'm not gonna push, but you and Light-kun...you're saying that as if you never had a choice but to be with him. And that isn't right. I feel as if there is a secret going on between the two of you. I'm not gonna ask you to tell me. But I know for one, that you won't be truly have with Light no matter how much you try. I like Ryuuzaki-kun. But I'm not stupid. I know he's meant to be with you. You two were meant to be."

I thanked her. Those words were true. They were reality since the very beginning. Just then I remembered something Takuto had told me before. Something not any normal shinigami would say.

"_Meyumi, shouldn't you stop this curse before you lose your life over something so drastic? I knew I shouldn't have given you the Death Note."_

_  
"Takuto, don't you ever learn? I'm never gonna regret this decision."_

_  
"Regret....this decision." _

I stared blankly out the window. Was I gonna regret this decision?

When I'd first made the decision, I'd thought it'd be something I wouldn't regret. Another trivial objection in life. But was I really leaving something behind me?

When we'd arrived at the front of the building, the driver parked a quick stop and rushed over to open the door.

I'd barely had time to straighten out my outfit before dashing into the building. I quickly confirmed my ID with the eye scan and finger print scans, I dashed through the medal detectors on the 2nd floor and dropped my cell phone into the receiver where I would pick it up later. Afterall, Ryuuzaki always had a prejudice against portable calling devices. "It's always disturbing something that I say, so either put it away or I'll do it for you."

It was impossible to consider 's words exaggerated, I knew that when the elevator door opened and Light flew across the hall, L following close behind with his own pace.

"Lighto?! Ryuuzaki! What on Earth is going on?" Immediately I ran after them, Misa close behind.

"Ryuuzaki!" I yelled as his fist sent a blow at Light. He stopped, crazed eyes met mine in shock. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I wanted to scream. But I didn't, those child-like eyes spotted mine, his fist dropped, he himself was bleeding on the side of his lips. I flinched when I saw that and instantly reached out towards him though we were at least 15 metres apart.

I then forced my eyes on Light who was at the end of the hall, chin held up, head leaning against the wall, blood on his lips and then on the back of his hand as he rubbed it off.

"Why...why did you guys..." I then looked back at Ryuuzaki. I went over, took his hand gently and then bent down to caress Light's cheek, he winced and I noticed that it was slightly swollen.

"Idiot...." I mumbled as I gripped L's hand tighter, I was too scared to look at his wounds.

"Don't cry..." Light said, his left hand came up to tap one of my tears at the corner of my eye before it could fall. I looked down at his right hand which was battered, swollen and bloody at the knuckles.

"Stupid! You're so stupid why would you do that?!" I screamed, pulling his head against my shoulder with my free hand. Ryuuzaki stood there behind us watching everything. His hand still outreached, held onto mine.

After a moment of silence, Light gently took my hand of his head and placed it on his cheek, touching it gently, he relaxed.

"Why did you..." I began and was unable to finish.

"Because I love you." His eyes were the most sincere things I've seen from him ever since we've seen each other. But slowly, they drifted shut, his hand dropped mine.

My eyes flew wide in shock. I dropped my hand from L's and gently took Light's face in them, his whole body was limp. His breathing jagged and he wouldn't respond regardless how many times I'd shaken him. _How long had they been beating each other into peices? _I thought. I didn't wait for an answer.

"Someone call the ambulance! Hurry!"

**note: To all my readers, for those of you who haven't read my profile, I do update this one story every Wednesday. Therefore, please do not expect me to update every day or otherwise. Also, my daily schedule has been cleared throughout the summer thus it will stay the same. But when school starts (since I'm just enterring high school) my schedule will be off the charts. I'll continue on every Wednesday but when I figure out what is going on, I might change it in the middle of the September depending on my availability days. Thanks for your support. - Bonbon**


	19. Chapter 19

[19]

"Here, drink something." I didn't look up from Light's face as I felt L coming up behind me. My hand held Light's as the door closed softly from Ryuuzaki's entrance. We were in the hospital now, the ambulance had arrived as soon as we called and we had Light in and driven off to the hospital in record time. It's been 2 days now, he hadn't been awake since.

"How're you feeling?" I asked without alterating my gaze. Light had the worse end of the conflict. Dislocated jaw. One of his knuckles in his right hand was fractured. One of his ribs was cracked, not completely fractured but cracked, therefore he had his torso bandaged, a brace on the right hand and one on his jaw. He also needed stitches on his chin.

Ryuuzaki's injuries were simple. Just a brace on each hand held 2 knuckles in place and a few stitches or two. He wasn't required to stay overnight but did spend a few hours a day here.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean for you to be hurt by this fight." He mumbled.

"Why'd you do it?" I asked. It sounded like an accusion which wasn't what I meant for it to be.

"I...I'm in love with you."

I tried not to be suprised by that as I was. Everytime he says that to me is another time that marks my heart with his name. Everytime I try not to be shocked by his words but it's as if he'd never told me before, as if I'd never known all along that his love was mine.

"You should forget about me-"

" But I can't!" He insisted, "You can't possibly think I can forget everything we had."

"Lawliet! That was the past!"

"Well that sucks because that past is the only past I'd ever had in my whole life. Can't fix that can we?" He was mad now. I stared into his eyes. No, he wasn't mad at heart but he was angry enough to raise his voice at me without noticing.

"This is all my fault." A voice spoke. I looked over and my eyes widened when I saw Light staring at the two of us. My mind grew into panic then, how long had he been awake? Had he heard what I'd said? Then real panic hit me.

Light's eyes were full of accusion. No, not at my conversion with L but the info that came along with it. During my frustated moment, I had spoken L's real name out loud. It's not right. Light wasn't supposed to know. No, I can't let it happen.

"I gotta go." I mumbled, making my way out of the hospital room. Being crippled in the bed as he was and having L in the room, I wasn't sure how far he would go to obtain his notebook or a peice of it but knowing Light, I didn't have much time.

The second I got out into the hall, I ran. I ran straight "home" to the Yagamis' residence and made my way into mine and Light's room. The rest of the family was somewhere in the hospital. I didn't have much time, Light was supposed to be released tonight if possible.

Knowing where I hid my DeathNote, I went to that particular corner and careful typed in the combination to my laptop. Because I specially programed my laptop myself, the CD that came out wasn't the CD I was listening to last but an information CD stored inside my laptop.

I took it, went over to my CD player which was left rotting in the drawer underneath our bed. Without plugging in the CD player (which I also programmed myself), I popped open the CD compartment and put my info CD in there. Going directly to track 13, the cassette contraption opened, inside was my deathnote.

Now that I was at that stage, I didn't know what I would do with it.

Light knew my attachment to L, he knew, definately not all, but enough details of our past. Enough to kill him.

Just then my cell phone rang.

It was Light calling from the hospital.

"Hello?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked immediately.

"Tell you what? That I've always loved him. That I never thought he'd be L. That no matter what, I'll always love him, regardless what happens?"

"I'm writing him in now." He said, ignoring all that I've told him.

"Light Yagami, you are a stinking bastard." I growled. With that I hung up and began writing.


	20. Chapter 20

[20]

The End

_**"Death Note**_

_**How To Use It**_

_**-If someone possesses more than one Death Note, by visualizing the victim, then writing down the name in one of the Death Note and the cause of death in the other, it will take effect. The order however, is unimportant, if you write down the cause of death in one Death Note and afterwards, write the name in the other, it will still take effect.**_

_**-This can also be accomplished by two Death Note owners working together. In this case, its necessary that the two touch each others Death Notes."**_

2 months later

I listened to the music on the other side of the double doors as I made my way down the spiralling staircase to the hall. Trying to keep pace with the music, it was harder than expected, especially the hours of work put into practicing these few steps. Regardless of that, my heart was unable to calm down.

I looked over at the man standing next to me in his suit and tie. "Ryuuzaki...are you sure about this?"

"As long as you're happy I'll be okay..." he encouraged, though not quite meeting my gaze. I knew why.

"But I want you to be-"

"As long as you're happy, I'll be okay." He repeated, though I'm thinking more to himself than towards me. "By the way, did I tell you you look beautiful today?" We were narrowing the double doors now, slightly behind to the beat.

"You look quite handsome yourself sir." I said smiling the best I could.

Truth is, I couldn't smile. I wasn't gonna be marrying Light, I knew that, but it all ends tonight.

I walked to the front where Light stood with his father. Ryuuzaki stuck to my side and then stood behind me in his traditional "best man" 's position. My mind flew through a thousand different thoughts as I stood there, but none of it really hit until it was time to say the binding words.

"Do you promise to always stay by each other's sides, looking out for each other through think and thin and until death."

I couldn't take it. Those weren't the words I felt towards Light with, they were the words I've always dreamed of to be with L with.

"I...I'd be lying if I said yes." I said. There was a lump in my throat that was unable to go down.

Light's head snapped up and stared at me increduously. He gripped the top of both my arms.

"Meyumi, what on Earth is happening. You..I..-"

"I do."

It was neither me or Light that had spoken. I turned around to find L staring at me intently.

The minister cleared his throat.

" Ren, do you take Ryuuzaki Lawliet in behind your husband, forever binded by love and will be by his side until death." he spoke. Ironic, I never knew how much those words meant until they were said towards Ryuuzaki.

"I do." I said, clearly, harshly swallowing down the lump in my throat.

I escaped Light's grip and took two steps, leaving me directly in front of L.

"I now pronounce you man an-" The minister immediately fell to the ground, clutching his chest. It took me 2 seconds to calculate the time difference inside my head. 40 seconds, it was enough time for Light to have written the minister's name on any scrap of Death Note he had with him and for the Death Note to take effect. But I still had time.

Using my left hand, I bent down and reached to my ankle where I had bandaged it to prevent blistering from my stilletos. Under the bandaid was a scrap of Death Note. I took it out, pulled the pen from Ryuuzaki's suit pocket and quickly wrote the death scenario in a few words.

_Died of heartattack after having said his final words "I now pronounce you man and wife."_

I felt Ryuuzaki's gaze on the paper as it took in the information.

He then snapped his head up for the final proof.

"man an-and wi-w-wife." He then stopped struggling, his breathing no longer jagged but gone all together. The audience remained speechless.

I sighed, Light and his father stood motionless. Plastered on Light's face was anger and accusion. His father's was filled with shock.

I did it, I was officially married to L Lawliet. But at what costs?

I slowly turned my head to face L, his eyes were wide of shock though as if he wasn't surprised at all but as if he knew all along, just never accepted the truth.

"Ryuuzaki..." I mumbled, raeching out for his hand.

He shook his head, his hand rubbed his temple and his eyes shut as he took it in. "Give me a moment."

Minutes passed, no one moved everybody stayed as they afraid or shocked, this wasn't a good thing. The whole team of Kira FBIs were here, however they too were shocked.

"How...how long." He finally mumbled.

"3 months after Light started." I replied. There was no point in hiding the truth.

"Why."

"I...."

"How many?"

"10....including today....14."

He hesitated before asking the next question.

"Do....do...you know what..this means?"

I nodded. It was over tonight.

"Lawliet...." I mumbled, taking his hand in mine, "look at me." He shook his head.

"Please?"

He slowly opened his eyes, they were full of pain as they stared into mine.

"I burnt it already. That was my last peice of Death Note. Today is my last day. I made a mistake, many mistakes. But I'm not dying tonight because of my mistake. I'm dying tonight because ... this is your last night. Lawliet?...I love you."

"All...this..."

"Lawliet, I've always kept my promises." I mumbled.

He nodded in understanding. "I love you too."

Right then, I heard I loud gasp behind me. Light Yagami's life no longer existed.

"My time's almost up..." I mumbled. My vision blurred as tears spilled. I took L's face in mine, his warm, desperate eyes locked onto mine. He too had tears gliding down his cheeks.

Just as our lips met, I knew this was gonna be the final time.

"I love you."

I gripped onto his hand as tight as I could.

Suddenly, it came. A sharp pain over took my chest and my breath caught. The floor disappeared from underneath me. I was no longer holding onto Lawliet for support. He too was on the floor.

I smiled.

There was nothing but darkness.

The story of our forbidden love...

***note: this is in fact the last chapter of the story. Thanks for supporting me through it all. and there will be an epilogue to tell about what happened after Light's phone call and everything. Also, the Death Note quote in the beginning is in fact in the Death Note and I did not make that up for the storyline (actually i didn't know that rule existed but I read it in my new death note that I recently aquired over the weekend.) anyways stick around for more fanfics. I don't think there are many (that would be reading an Lawliet story) that would be a fan of "Fahrenheit" the Taiwanese boyband. But in anycase I am writing a fanfic for him (which isn't up on yet check my profile for other locations updated) but other than that, I will be starting a Light fanfic and several prince of tennis ones and naruto. Thanks for the support. and remember to look out for the epilogue**


	21. Epilogue

[epilogue]

story of our death

story of our forbidden love

story of me and you

August,9, 2003.

_Dear Mr. Yagami, _

_The world of death is an evil place. The world of regret is filled with more pain than a thousand knives in my stomach. I wish to never regret again, but there's not much I can do now. Today is my second last day of life. As a Kira of this world, I wish that in the future, no such events would repeat. But it's highly unlikely. Thinking back of my journey, my death god (shinigami), who's name is Takuto had warned me all along. _

_Finding the Death Note was a mistake. But the greater mistake is ever having to have used it. I should've burnt it from the start if I knew what I was getting myself into. I'm telling you this story now because you need to know. Life isn't all that it's cracked up to be. _

_The story 5 years back, 6 years tomorrow._

_Me and Lawliet (L) were mere friends at an orphanage in USA. It was a close friendship. So close, I realized I'd been in love with him all along. And to my miracle, his feelings were mutual. It was then, on August 10th, the first day that we met him, and 2 years after that, that he'd proposed to me. I was young back then, but Lawliet was my life. _

_3 years later, as the Death Note incidents repeat more and more, I had met your son, Light Yagami. He and I got aquainted online and through phone (he used the school phone when coming in contact with me.) And that one day a few months ago, as you remember, I came over to Japan as Light's fiancee._

_Truth is, I'd never met Light face to face before. And at that time, I thought, 'What do I have to lose? He's a good guy. (Well despite the Kira incidents.) Smart, and he's just like me.' And so it was agreed._

_Only a few hours later did I realize how wrong I had been. _

_There was a lot to lose._

_And I knew, I didn't want to get married to Light anymore. Because I had Lawliet again. _

_It was devistating, constantly lying to you guys and especially Lawliet. Many times I had considered telling him but I couldn't imagine what would've been done. I have my consiquences now. _

_I had burnt my Death Note. And tomorrow, I'm gonna be dead right after I'm married. _

_No, I'm not marrying your son. I'm sticking to my proposal. And there's one last thing. I'm sorry to tell you this Mr. Yagami, but your son is a down right bastard. Either way. I had burnt my Death Note however, I hadn't been able to find Light's anywhere. _

_If in the future there are these incidents again, I trust in you to please do the following:_

_-In the orphanage that me and L were at, it was a land of geniuses, attached are a few numbers that might be able to reach them now. However if that doesn't work, Watari knows about it._

_-Having burnt a Death Note doesn't mean that the death's that are scheduled in it are cancelled, I merely means that that one notebook is desinigrated._

_-After having written in a Death Note, there is no turning back. You can not erase, white out nor rip it apart, the death with still take place. _

_-You can use anything to write in a Death Note as long as it's legible. _

_-And last but not least, if two people were to work together, it is possible to write the name of the victim in one notebook and write the cause of death in the other as long as it's within a time limit._

_I would tell you to please take care of Ryuuzaki for me, however it all ends tomorrow. I had accidentally slipped his name out when in an arguement with him and Light overheard. Regrets are painful. I know that now. Light had written Ryuuzaki's name inside his Death Note (where ever it is convienient located.) And upon knowing that, I took the immediate iniative to write L's cause of Death. (Along with mine and Light's.)_

_You won't read this letter until later, but I'll have you know that everything during that wedding day was staged by the Death Note. _

_If I had another choice, I would change it. However, the Death Note is a permanent thing, I couldn't change it that day. It is a Death Note, not of one that can save people. Obviously, we both know that L is a brilliant innocent soul, a soul in which I had contaminated. However when this is all over, I do have several requests._

_1. Please contact the others that were previously in the same orphanage as L and me, they'll know what to do in the future. There are other Kiras out there._

_2. Tell Misa I'm sorry. (She too was a Kira, however her memories were erased after having lost possession of her notebook, please don't punish her.) She'll know why._

_3. Please take care of your family for me, and thank you for your hospitality this whole time, it was wonderful.)_

_4. This would be the last. I love Lawliet a lot. And when we are to die, I would plead - no, to beg if I have to - that we would be buried in the same grave together. I know it's a long shot but that's all I ask for. _

_And one last thing, if there is any action concerning the Death Note tomorrow during the wedding, please immediately burn the peices. That is, if it's not too late. _

_Thank you for all the memories up to now. And I am sorry about the future. Hopefully one day you can completely take my apology into consideration._

_--Meyumi Ren._

**note: well this fanfic is officially finished. I feel like crying T.T my first officially finished fanfic. i love it! well the last few chapters anyways. i'm not too fond about the beginning but it'll do. anyways thanks for the support. the epilogue is here to explain things and i hope it did. if not email me or something. thanks a bunch. --bonnie**


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